When Rituals Meet REM: A Superstitious OCD Journey

This blog is more of a personal diary for me, rather than a blog about Mental Health in general, so when I've not posted about myself in a while, it's a good thing; it means my OCD and Anxiety have been very stable. Still, as mental health sufferers will know, your illness never 100% goes away, even in recovery there's that tiny 1%, hidden away in the background waiting to creep up, or even jump out on you when there's a new challenge or stress in your life, sometimes it'll even spring up on you out of nowhere which can be even more irritating. So that's why I'm here today, because for the first time in almost 6 months, my superstitious OCD has sprung up on me and left me with a massive dilemma, and it's sprung up on me in my dreams. Now I dream a lot and have many bizarre dreams, one of the side effects I get from Antidepressants and most of the time I find it funny and fascinating, the odd stuff my brain comes up with during the night, but this dream felt different to me, mainly because it gave me a sense of anxiety and dread both in the dream and when I woke up, plus once I fell asleep again, I very briefly went in to a dream with a similar theme, allowed me to expand.

To keep it simple, ignoring all the weird, bizarre stuff going on, the theme of my dream was me being told that I had to avoid having a roast dinner tomorrow, or something awful was going to happen to me in the next year, the anxiety and dread I felt about this in my dream was immediately felt as soon as I woke up, OCD fears like this often leave me feeling anxious, mentally drained and depressed. Now a "normal" person would just brush this dream off, maybe even laugh about it in the same way I do about most of my dreams, but my superstitious OCD went in to over drive, convincing me that this dream is different, some kind of hidden warning about action I need to take to avoid a future disaster, the added anxiety and feeling of dread only adds to that belief. So what do I do? My life for the last 4 years now has all been about doing what I want to do, thinking and acting like a "normal" person and keeping things simple, as long as I do everything will be fine. So, do I go against my current beliefs, which my OCD will tell me could result in disaster itself? Or do I believe my OCD that this dream is some sort of one-off special message and that I should listen to it and go against my beliefs this one time? Ruminating on and off about what I should do has consumed my day.