Navigating depression during a spike

Wow, I haven't posted here in a long time...Sometimes that's the thing with Mental Health, if you're in a good place you tend to forget or avoid areas related to when your Mental Health was at its worst and may dive back into it at a time of need, which, ironically is why I'm suddenly back posting here today.

This is mainly not OCD related, but it's a very important part of my Mental Health journey that I feel I need to vent about here.

You see, I've been a bit of an idiot and let my heart rule my head to the point where I've lent someone a lot of money and finally, I realise she has no intention of paying it all back.

The funny thing is, the money itself is not

the issue, it hasn't put me in debt or any financial hardship, it's the sense of betrayal, anger '148/41 blood pressure worth of anger' and injustice I feel that somebody who came across as so nice and genuine could do this to me.

The way anger presents itself for me depends on the situation, but in this case, 'As shown in the graph below' it begins with.

A sudden spike of internal anger, Feeling like I'm about to burst into tears and sometimes other physical symptoms which is no good if you have health Anxiety and only adds to your mental anguish.

This then fluctuates but on a downward trend and the later stages tend to be the Mental side of things, waves of deep depression, negative attitudes about my life, and not wanting to do the things I enjoy as much.

Mood graph over 38 hour period

The deep depression phase is the most difficult, anger tends to go quickly but depression phases can last for days, you genuinely feel alone in the world and like it's going to last forever and there's no way out, that's where suicide risk comes in for a lot of people, but thankfully for me I'm not someone who often has suicidal thoughts.

How am I dealing with this apart from ranting to you in my blog right now?

1: Try to keep busy because if your mind is occupied, it'll give you less time to ruminate about the current situation. For me, these distractions would be writing this blog post, video gaming, and going to the gym. Healthy distractions are always better than unhealthy ones, such as drinking, etc.

2: What would I say if someone came to me for advice regarding a similar situation? Now, it's always easier to give someone else advice because there are usually no emotions involved, so you can advise with a much clearer head.

I think I would say to them that I know it hurts right now, you feel betrayed, let down, heartbroken and like this feeling will last forever, I promise you it won't, but it will take time, use that time to try and focus on positive activities that will help distract you from your thoughts even if it's only briefly rather than focusing on the past which you can no longer change.

3: Watching/Doing something that makes me laugh. Laughter sometimes really is the best medicine, anything that makes you laugh or puts a smile on your face can at the very least lower those feelings of depression for a while.