What it feels like to have OCD

I often struggle to describe to people who don't understand, exactly what it's like to have OCD especially Magical thinking OCD like mine so i think i've finally come up with quite a good way to describe it.

Imagine a bully which we will just call OCD, who gives you very limited control of what you can do, they give you a needle with a unknown substance in it, everytime you go against your OCD either by not doing rituals or in my case doing something/activitie your OCD said NOT to do you have to inject yourself or someone you love with this substance

Now the OCD makes out the needle has a VERY SERIOUS disease in there which will cause a very serious illness or worse, but you won't know for sure until anytime up to 12 months "In my case with my OCD usually unless there is a specific event i'm worried about".

Really the needle just has something harmless in it, part of you kind of knows it's harmless but without being able to check there's no way you can possibly know, so between your logical side and your OCD you established there's a 60% chance it's harmful and a 40% chance it's not, would you risk it??

Now you might try to fight your OCD, do what you like and take the injection or give it to someone you love, then you will get a massive surge of Anxiety and deep Depression, as you realise you may of just given a loved one or yourself a very serious illness, but the OCD has a solution "Ritualising or Neutralising". The OCD gives you the option to inject yourself, or a loved one with a antidote which will cure you of the serious illness you just injected yourself with, ASLONG as you go straight back to doing/avoiding what your OCD says.

Of course you take the OCD's offer, let the OCD take control of you again, inject yourself or whoever with the antidote which gives you a IMMEDATE release of lovely reassurance and relaxtion knowing everything is going to be ok now, that's of course until the next time you try to go against your OCD.

The idea with CBT is that you slowly expose yourself to the OCD overtime, which takes balls because it's meaning in your belief anyway having to inject yourself with a serious illness all day, every day. Then of course the idea is over time you will realise nobody gets seriously ill, you gain more confidence over your OCD and realise it's talking shit to you. Now of course you, or someone you love might get just a little ill in that time 'Something bad will happen but not quite as bad as you fear" you'll be convinced it's the injection taking effect and you'll be VERY tempted to jump straight back into your OCD's arms for that antidote you so crave.

That's the best way i can think of to describe what it's like to live with OCD, it might apply well to other sufferers as well. I hope it gives people a slightly better understanding of what OCD is like and the crippling physical symptoms it can give you too when you try to go against it.