Day 4: Doing what i want, WHEN i want

It must be a nice feeling? Being able to decide what you want to do, when you want to do it, then just doing it?

Well for me this is sadly very rarely the case, perfect example today, all i wanted to do was go to my friends house who i not seen in a while, simple right?

"I might go to my friends house tomorrow"

Which is very often followed by my OCD saying to me "NO, if you do go something really awful will happen to you"

Now i should point out my OCD is not saying something awful will happen then, otherwise i might find it much easier to challenge, it is in fact saying something bad at some point soon.

If i ignore it? well this would follow a huge wave of anxiety and deep depression and a double punishment of avoiding more things i enjoy it's called neturalising, making up for not doing a ritual right previously

This theme effects me around almost everything i enjoy

What foods i want

Playing my favourite computer game

When i can go to the gym

Sometimes my OCD will of course let me, the more stressed i am the less likely it will, it's almost like my OCD feels i do not deserve to be happy?

So next time you non OCD sufferers get the freedom to do anything you want, appreciate it