Me and my OCD a brief history

So my OCD started when i was 16 nearly 17, i put this down to the events of when my Brother died a year earlier at 18 due to a rare heart condition that we knew nothing so it was very sudden.

I suddenly started getting these urges to tap my table, doors and other objects in a certain way i had no idea why i felt the need to do it but it just felt right to do so.

Then a few months later i suffered a big stomach bug and as i had a phobia of being sick this was very traumatic for me.

So after this my anxiety and OCD sky rocketed the tapping rituals were alot more regular and i was avoiding certain hobbies and foods that i was very much into at the time of my illness almost like a superstition that these things somehow caused me to be ill? At this point i had no idea about OCD.

So due to the anxiety and the fear of being sick while i was out with friends i started going out alot less and trust me being stuck inside with your own thoughts is very powerful for your OCD i thought i could handle it at first and i felt embarassed to approach how i was feeling because i felt it made me look crazy.

By the end of 2010 i had a major breakdown of my OCD my thoughts did not allow me to shave, eat, go out, do things i enjoy because something awful would happen to me if i did....I could not hide it anymore from my parents of course they noticed the loss in weight and eating and shaving.

Finally i got the help i needed unfortunatley privately though it was the only option due to a long NHS waiting list and i am now much better than i use to be but it is a still day to day struggle for me